Friday, March 4, 2016

When God closes a door, punch a hole in the wall.

My adventures as an artist continue.
Git wouldn’t let me push the repo onto GitLab and then pull it to my laptop, so I didn’t have anything to work on while on my breaks. Git is a git. 
So I spent that time coming up with a way to make a quick and dirty Orcish. 
  1. Transliterate English words into a set of nasty-wasty Orc-sounding phonemes. E.g “dwarf” → “dvorv” 
  2. Invert the order of the phonemes. “dvorv” → “vrovd” 
  3. Clean up any awkward bits. “vrovd” → “vrov” 
  4. Arrange words according to a grammar that is an unholy hybrid of Japanese and Cornish. 
Here are some sample phrases:  
“I smell a dwarf!” → “Dža vrov dremz!” 
“Aren’t you a little short for a Red Claw?” → “Už tov Derválk trož ma xon?” 
“This is not the dwarf you’re looking for.” → “Zyd tov už küd vrov matán.”
 Friends of a mystical bent have often told me that whenever God closes a door, He opens a window. Given, however, that God's first recorded command was "Make babies and take over the world!" I believe that when God closes a door, it's an invitation to make a window. That sort of attitude seems more in line with the "take over the world" directive. Was a hackish excuse for a fantasy language the best window to make? Probably not. But a window it is.

So here's the graphical thingy I did today:

1 comment:

  1. Nice. I like the title font. And I am amused by the thought of Jared hunched over a microphone, growling your Orc dialect into it.